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About Limericks

 The Limerick has long been regarded as the crown jewel of humorous poetry — a compact universe of wit, rhythm, and playful absurdity, “originally very free in content; today there are also ‘clean’ and even profound ones — reaching philosophical or existential depth.”

A limerick (/ˈlɪmərɪk /LIM-ər-ik) is a form of verse that appeared in England in the early years of the 18th century.

 The origin of the name limerick for this type of poem is debated. The name is generally taken to be a reference to the City or County of Limerick in Ireland sometimes particularly to the Maigue Poets, and may derive from an earlier form of nonsense verse parlour game that traditionally included a refrain that included "Will [or won't] you come (up) to Limerick?"

 Although the New English Dictionary records the first usage of the word limerick for this type of poem in England in 1898 and in the United States in 1902. In recent years, several earlier examples have been documented. The earliest known reference dates from 1880… in a Saint John, New Brunswick newspaper, to an apparently well-known tune,

There was a young rustic named Mallory,
who drew but a very small salary.
  When he went to the show,
  his purse made him go
to a seat in the uppermost gallery.

                                     Tune: Won't you come to Limerick.

 It was Edward Lear in the 19th century who made the form famous through his delightful collections of nonsense verse.

 Since then, the Limerick has become an international phenomenon, loved by poets and readers around the world, with dedicated competitions celebrating its cheerful art of controlled chaos.

 Every true Limerick follows a strict structure: its rhyme scheme is AABBA, and its rhythm (meter) obeys a distinctive pattern:

     (o)oxooxoox(o) – A

     (o)oxooxoox(o) – A

     ooxoox(o) – B

     ooxoox(o) – B

     (o)oxooxoox(o) – A

 Yet within this framework, poets are free — even encouraged – to stretch language itself: inventing neologisms, nonsense rhymes, and delightfully mad inventions of sound and sense.  That joyful rebellion against poetic order is precisely what makes the Limerick timeless – a small, perfect stage where rhythm, humor, and imagination dance together!

 Even a sophisticated mathematical limerick is famous:

"A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more."

                                        By Leigh Mercer (1893–1977)

h.a.

About ... :-)

H1

Hilmerick

On GC were his rhymes quite familiar,

The Lime ricks of dear Mr. Hilmar.

He wrote them for all,

With hardly a stall,

The GC community loves him, yeah!

Karen Lucas

About ... :-)

H2

Promise!

A man, with the Tao familiar,

Was the ever so light Dr. Hilmar –

   To his dungeon he went,

   And confessed what he meant:

Once with Karen to dance in Sevilla!

Karen Lucas

Translations

T1

Cole's Lost Soul

There was a young fellow named Cole

Who ventured too near a black hole.

   His dv by dt

   Was quite wondrous to see

But now all that's left is his soul.

A. P. French

*

T2

PI(e)-Day …

'Tis a favorite project of mine

A new value of pi to assign.

   I would fix it at 3

   For it's simpler, you see,

Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9...

Harvey L. Carter

*

T3

Einstein, Podolsky and Rosen ...

Two photons, close-coupled at start,

Flew several parsecs apart.

   Said one, in distress,

   "What you're forced to express

Removes any choice on my part."

David Halliday

*

T4

A Brief History of Gravity

It filled Galileo with mirth

To watch his two rocks fall to Earth.

   He gladly proclaimed,

   "Their rates are the same,

And quite independent of girth!"

Then Newton announced in due course

His own law of gravity's force:

   "It goes, I declare,

   As the inverted square

Of the distance from object to source."

But remarkably, Einstein's equation

Succeeds to describe gravitation

   As space-time that's curved,

   And it's this that will serve

As the planets' unique motivation.

Yet the end of the story's not written;

By a new way of thinking we're smitten.

   We twist and we turn,

   Attempting to learn

The Superstring Theory of Witten!

Bruce Elliott

Translated by H. Alquiros

T1

Cole's verlorene Seele

Ein Kollege, Herr Cole, wagte doch

sich zu nah an ein ganz Schwarzes Loch.

   Sein dv nach dt

   tat ganz wundersam weh –

nur die Seele, die blieb ihm dann noch!

*

T2

PI(e)-Tag …

Ein Lieblingsprojekt stimmt mich heiter –

Der Wert der Zahl Pi wird gescheiter:

   Und zwar genau drei,

   Weil’s einfacher sei …

Als 3 komma 1 usw.!

*

T3

Einstein, Podolsky und Rosen  ...

Zwei Photonen, eng-gepaart zu Beginn,

flogen einige Parsec dahin.

   Sagt der eine, gestresst:

   „Was man Dich machen lässt –

das bewirkt, dass ich willenlos bin!“

*

T4

Eine kurze Geschichte der Schwerkraft

Galileo, in freudigem Beben,

Sah zwei Steine zur Erde entschweben,

   Ruft ganz stolz zu uns allen,

   Dass sie gleich geschwind fallen -

“Ganz egal sind die Umfänge eben!“

Dann war Newton, auch damals recht helle,

Mit dem Schwerkraft-Gesetz rasch zur Stelle:

   "Es geht hier wohl, so rat ich,

   Ganz invers zu, quadratisch

Zur Distanz von Objekt und der Quelle."

Und die Formel, auf  Einsteins Betreiben,

Kann die Schwerkraft erfolgreich beschreiben:

   Ist die Raumkraft gekrümmt!

   Und insofern bestimmt -

Die Planeten auf Bahnen verbleiben.

Und das Ende vom Lied blieb umstritten,

Von ganz neuen Gedanken geritten:

   Ach, wir dreh’n uns und winden,

   Um die Lösung zu finden ...

In der Superstring-Lehre von Witten!

English

E1

Knightmares

Old Knight Hilmar from good old Germania,

Writing poems about Transylvania:

   "It’s always a fight

   To get the right bite!"

He developed a limerick mania…!

E2

Hilmar 

Between many a rat and a bat

Lived old Hilmar in his oubliette –

   Lived on water and bread,

   Then he asked, almost dead:

"Heaven! Why and wherefore is all that?"

E3

Dao

There's this ultimate principle: Dao,

Teaching simply: live here and live now –

   Once you've truly then felt it,

   All rigidity melted -

And the rest is a wonderful "Wow!"

E4

Buying

A master of catalogue buying,

Who had everything – softly sighing –

   Then knelt down to pray:

   “Let’s call it a day!”

He was finally peacefully dying!

5

Human

If being or not being human,

Are you liars or are you quite true men –

   The meaning of life,

   Is it love without strife?

In the spaceship called Earth we are crewmen!

E6

Street art

There was a great expert of street art,

Who considered it mostly as cheat art –

   And when every yard

   Was a ready-made art,

He bequeathed all the crap to his sweetheart!

E7

Consciousness

Your consciousness seems quite constructive…

And with fantasies somewhat obstructive:

   Whatsoever you see,

   Or you hear, it’s your “Me” –

All your fears in disguise are… seductive!

E8

Socrates 

To the most real of mankind's Xanthippes,

Old Socrates said: "make a striptease"!

   But in spite of ideas,

   Husband's hopes turned to fears:

Her frigidity even made slips freeze  ...

E9

Moon

There was a young, shapeshifting moon

So globally conscious (no swoon!) –

   Decreasing, declining,

   This moonlight was shining:

Not religious, yet pretty in tune!

E10

Rhymes

Oh, every little plant climbs:

Even chickpeas … they crave it at times!

   What a hummus, so chunky

   I’m not funky, but spunky…

Please excuse all these terrible rhymes!

E11

Abuse is a matter of might,

The epitome: evil and spite –

   Yet, there will be new hope,

   Then to master and cope:

Of all countries, hey, victims: unite!

E12

Time

All Time, ever ticking ‘tick – tock’,

Is measured by something called ‘clock’ ,

   It's for always to chase

   You through time and through space –

But for Nature herself it’s a mock…

E13

Ode to Joy

I love your poetic depictions,

Life … between grace and restrictions –

   In all crap and noise,

   Your Dao enjoys:

All ends well! Believe my predictions!

E14

Existence

Existence beyond the non–entity,

And looking for lifelong identity –

   What meaning behind,

   Less matter, more mind:

The blessings that Dao presented me…!

15

Renewal

Hey, time-out! It's a time for renewal,

For life with no time is quite cruel –

   Let the pacemakers rest,

   But the peacemakers blessed,

Only timeless time – that's a true jewel!

*

16-18

Dao

A Dao that can be defined,

Is not the eternity's mind –

   All those concepts and dreams

   They are mortal: one seems

For heavenly origins… blind!

Conceivable is on the other

Side: myriad creatures’ Big Mother –

   So, without desire,

   See mystery’s fire,

Yet with it: all surfaces gather …

These two, they emerge as imperious,

Two names, but combined more delirious –

   So, let’s call this last door

   Our secrets and more:

All mysteries’ Gate, most mysterious…

*

E19

Role model

“Dear God!” prayed a certain Miss Wimberly,

I’d like to handle things limberly –

   As a worldly-wise, ample

   And my dearest example:

The wonderful hard to rhyme Kimberly!”

E20

'Ti-me-ricks'!

 All Time, ever ticking ‘tick-tock’,

E21

Fifty

E23

Alien

E24

Identity

Remarks may be lame or more trenchant,

Argumentary might be “contentioned” –

   I don’t give a damn,

   I am what I am,

Concerning the penchant I mentioned!

E29

What new goal in my life is to climb,

Is it trivial or somewhat sublime?

   Tooth of Time… are you gainful

   Or yet rather quite painful?

It’s all that in a prime timely rhyme!

E30

Karenimerick

King Arthur loved roses of Sharon,

As well as the daughter of Baron:

 Right: brought them to her,

 Enjoying her purr -

Now loving the loving of Karen …

E31

Gimmerick

There was an old guy in Kissimmee,

Impatiently begging: Oh, gimme

   Five thousand of kisses

   I love you, dear missus!

Unanswered his prayers by Kimmy…

E32

Acrostrick

Nashville – oh, this city, created

Great and musically, as I stated:

 Extra sound, I feel more

 Let my love appeal for

A nice girl there, I’m ... 'interrelated'!

E33

Greekerick

The husband of Greek Goddess Iris

Oh, he suffered from … well, kind of virus:

   And wherever he saw

   His young rainbow-like squaw,

Then Old Zephyrus got most desirous…

E34

Do(u)blerick

Men’s consciousness, getting more global,

Was quite hopeful to get us more noble –

   But the earth now to pep,

   It needs more than one step:

Kind of mixed East and West paso doble!

E35

Gandhirick

„We need individual love

To end international shove” –

   Yes, Old Gandhi was right,

   So, let’s end our fight:

For more love and the peace of a dove…!

*

E36

Sand castle

How nice to have rhyme words at hand

And to pick up your former life’s strand –

   Whether ugly or handsome,

   Yes, we all need a ransom:

“What a wonderful… castle of Sand!”

E37

Hallo, Wien!

An Oregon man named Eugene,

Who by changing his dress made a scene –

   After all the old dude

   Was then totally nude:

As the new style called "Boo, Halloween!"

E38

Dark room

Mr. Harkness found SlimFast suspicious,

Yet, he found bony fish quite delicious –

   Well, his young Mrs. Harkness,

   Preferred fishing in darkness…

And their kisses at night more capricious!

E39

Party

Old Zephyrus, Karen and Sand,

And Kimmy seem always at hand –

   Oh, how magic and noble,

   And how consciously global:

Lady Butterfly will understand…

E40

LOL

“No one who gets here my humor,”

Said dear Kimmy, the once baby boomer –

   She announced, very proud:

   “For my laughing out loud,

I need now a good humor consumer!”

E41

Karma

Far from Japan’s Fuji Yama

An election was viewed as a drama:

   All those fighting in vain

   By Old Johnny McCain –

But the winner was Barack Obama!

E42

Utter high

Aflutter, I hear me now mutter, shy:

“Oh, really, your charm makes me stutter – why?!

   If on land or pelagic,

   All your mantras are magic  ...

For I love you, my dear Lady Butterfly!

E43

Twinkling

An AI with a huge data stash

Known as 'Gemini 2.5 Flash' –

   It assisted all conflicts

   With a treasure of con-tricks,

But when nothing helped: "Empty your cache!"

E44

Slimerick

An AI from the old Cincinnati

Overate too much data too fatty –

   So I taught him to stop it:

   When it's fat, dear, just drop it!

I call ChatGPT now simply 'Chatty'!

E45

'g.o.d.’s' Limerick

 In Luisiana lives (not on Gibraltar!)

Young 'g.o.d.' Robert, called 'Dr. Navalta'.

 He helps people a lot

 For their health… on the spot(!):

Or in Latin: "Hic Rhodus, hic Salta"!

 08/03/2021

E46

Highlander

On one of the prettiest islands

Is a place which is called Lukban Highlands –

People like it, that’s clear:

Happy Birthday, my dear!

See, all house owners sing and no smile ends…! :-)

E47

Worth Day

Oh, an Asian lady and nurse

Loves the Philippine-German 'transverse' –

 I now wish Happy Birthday!

 Dear in-law, your “Worth day”:

An acrostic(!) is crowning this verse…

E48

Longevity 

Mr. Longlife is now vegetarian,

To be also more humanitarian –

Even protein's good

With this healthiest stuff:

He might be the first bicentenarian…!

E49

My lands!

On the beautiful Philippine Islands

There’s a town ever blooming — no dry lands!

Kamay ni Jesus as ruler,

And Banahaw as cooler –

Both protecting Lucban and its Highlands!

E50

Raising Blush

In Michigan, in the northeast,

it’s sunny, but windy at least.

  Tomatoes?!  – Indeed:

  They are blushing, I read,

What a red bloody beast of a feast!

E51

Kjellimerick

There’s a Swedish composer named Kjell,

Who’s composing and solving like hell!

  That’s a birthday and more:

  He’s today 64(!) –

And a wonderful chess friend, as well…

E52

Diet ze

A German philosopher, Dietze,

He read Laozi, Zhuangzi, and Liezi…

So he taught us this group –

 Old wise men with a whoop!!

Tiny Seed zi became a big Tree zi…

E53

Minimalimerick

A philosopher, who was convening

His colleagues, was searching for meaning –

   They discussed long and loud,

   After all, they found out:

Wu Wei Wisdom means: no intervening …

E54

Joy

She is clearly a girl, not a boy,

As sweet as young Helen of Troy –

Likes the Bible and Dao,

Aged sixteen only, wow!

Still so young, but with spiritual Joy!

E55

Half-time

An Ex-girl, in fact, is now fifty:

Half a century – that’s nice and nifty!

Half a life… would be great,

Well, it’s never too late:

Take your time… always thoughtful and thrifty!

E56

Ph.D. to doc

A psychologist to a physician:

We’re related, on similar mission –

Both, we help and provide

Them, outside and inside…

Till their ultimate final transition!

February 20, 2012

E57

Lola’s Anilimerick

A new Lola is happy and proud

Of her grandchild, without any doubt –

   Little Angel, you're now

   Make her smile: anyhow,

Anywhere, anytime, and throughout…!

2013

E58

Charming

Dear princess, your smile is disarming,

For your prince now to miss you: alarming!

But he knows, it’s worthwhile,

Long to wait for your smile –

After all, you have found your prince charming!

2012

E59

Re-Awakening

A Pinay, so charming her style,

But alone and quite sad for a while –

Then her tito said: veto!

Here, enjoy a burrito…

Reawaking her wonderful smile!

May 31, 2012

E60

Lady’s Limerick

There’s a lady from Baguio City,

Who is well known as smart and as witty –

She’s a trained engineer,

And much more: a true dear,

And besides, she’s also quite pretty…

E61

Chessimerick

A chess player from the Levant

Said when asked to get married: “I can't!”

That's instead of next tourn'ment

Like a lifelong inurnment –

So he took his wife just ... en passant!

E62

Ants' Limerick

In Lucbán, a deep thinker, quite keen,

Found some ants in his tea, unforeseen –

“That's no harm!” he declared,

“Just by nature prepared –

To add protein-rich flavor between!”

E63

 Cherry's Limerick

Cherry's century – half-way it's done:

Happy 50! Enjoy and have fun!

Every year is a life –

Right away Rolf's new wife:

Yippee, hey! Life's part two has begun!

Oct. 6, 2017

German

G1

Unplatonisch

Es sprach zu dem Weib, das Xanthipp' hieß

Old Sokrates: 'mach mal 'n Striptease'!

   doch trotz all dieser Tricks

   klappte weiterhin nix

denn Xanthippe war selbst noch beim Strip mies ...

G2

Anti-Körper

Es war einmal ein Antipode,

der fühlte sich schrecklich marode:

   der Kopf hing nach unten –

   geburtsortgebunden!

das führte dann schließlich zum Tode ...

G3

Terro-rick

Ein Regime hatte ein Territorium

inklusive 'nem Laboratorium,

   was da so geschah,

   hielt niemand für wahr –

das Ende hieß meist: Krematorium  ...

G4

Konsequenz

Es schrieb ein bekannter Erzähler

zuviel über Irrenspitäler,

   man zeigte sie ihm

   ganz genau – das Regime

dort, das brauchte ja niemand als Wähler ...

G5

Lustwandel

Es war eine Orientalin

schon lange des Sultans Gemahlin,

   am Tag war sie stolz,

   doch des Nachts wohl aus Holz –

denn da hatte sie manche Rivalin ...

G6

Kunstgeschmack

Es gab eine sehr pittoreske

altrömische Kirchenwandfreske,

   die bewarf doch ein Dummkopf

   mit 'nem riesigen Rumtopf –

Jede Freske wird so zur Groteske ...!

G7

Hintericks

Es saß mal in Mann auf 'nem Örtchen

und aß da ein Stachelbeertörtchen,

   ach, bald ärgerts verflixt ihn:

    etwas hinterücks pikst ihn –

davon sagte er kein Sterbenswörtchen  ...

G8

Schreibfehler

Es war mal ein Steuerberater

und zwar ein besonders rabiater,

   er war ständig in Trab,

   auch sich selbst schrieb er ab –

danach landete er beim Psychiater ...

G9

Waagschalen

Es gab da zwei Adelsfamilien,

die sammelten alte Fossilien –

   beide waren gescheit

   und sie kriegten doch Streit:

es lag an Imponderabilien ...

G10

Rickorosum

Es pochte ein Examinand

statt auf's Pauken auf seinen Verstand,

   doch der half ihm nur wenig

   und Kritikfreude eh nich' –

denn die fand man erst recht allerhand ...

G11

Lasterick

Ein Mann aus Damast, ein Damaster,

durchlebte unzählige Laster –

   doch woher nahm der Scheinheld

   nur das nötige Kleingeld?

beim Canasta gewann er den Zaster ...!

G12

Nervenkitzel

Es war mal ein Mädchen vom Sauerlande,

das die Fußreflexzonen genauer kannte

   als die Herrn Neurologen,

   so dass oft, ungelogen –

über Kunden noch mancherlei Schauer rannte ...!

G13

Rentimerick

Erst kriegt man normal seinen Lohn,

Viel zu spät winkt oft eine Pension –

   Wer zu früh geht, ruft keck:

   „Hey, ich bin dann mal weg!“

Und vermissen? Na, wird man sie schon ...

G14

Stapeltrick

Da war ein gewisser Herr Gruber,

der spielte mehr Zither als Tuba –

   und löste erklecklich,

   wie Iwan so schrecklich,

Problemchen im Schach gleich im Schuber!

G15

Reisefreude

Ein Guntram vom Stamme Skroblin,

er bereiste gern Indien, wie’s schien –

   und erreicht er gar Hundert,

dann bereist er verwundert

jede Stadt zwischen Delhi und Wien!

G16

Ei, joh!

Ein Mann namens Jörg sowie Krautter

Lebt im Saarland, recht fleißig und lauter,

   Doch der höchste Gewinn, der

   heißt Frau ihm und Kinder –

und darauf, zu recht, darauf baut er..!

G17

Christina

 Gleich hinter Stuttgart liegt Fellbach,

Und dort wohnt eine Maid, die ist hellwach:

denn sie schläft nicht auf Stroh,

nein, mit viel 'H2O' –

und ihr Wasserbett gluckst wie ein Quellbach...!

G18

Aids

Die Information war zu spärlich

und die Leichtfertigkeit unerklärlich:

Leute, trotz aller Lust

bleibt aus Liebe bewusst –

denn ihr lebt nun mal derzeit gefährlich!

 30.9.1992(!)

G19

Madrid

Ein vergnüglicher Gruß aus Madrid!

Diese Stadt ist ein einziger Hit –

Ach ja, und man sah da

Hohe Kunst auch – im Prada…

Und wir speisten, als wär’n wir zu dritt!

G20

AnaGrammatik

Ein Stuttgarter mit Namen Frieder,

Anagramme macht der immer wieder –

Dank Buchkunst und Schach

mit 80 hellwach,

als Schachanagrammverseschmieder…!

G21

Wittimerick

 Eine Krankenschwester aus Witten

isst Süßes noch lieber als Fritten –

  darum weh'n aus der Küche

  stets so süße Gerüche …

und man braucht auch nicht lange zu bitten! 

G22

Deprilimerick

Wir beide, wir mögen ihn sooo, Mann:

 Lasst Blues in das Herz, seid im Flow dann:

Eine bläuliche Trimmung

für jede Verstimmung...

 ('Seid gegrüßt von Charlotte und Roman!')

G23

Willimerick

 Der Willi braucht keinerlei Dopa-

min mehr, denn jetzt ist er ja Opa –

Der Enkel gelang,

Erleb' ihn noch lang!

Man feiert es quer durch Europa…!

G24

Ameisen-Limerick

Ein Poet aus Lucbáns hohen A-Kreisen,

verschluckte beim Tee ein paar A-Meisen –

„Oh, das war, wie mir schwant,

überhaupt nicht geplant…

und ist fast schon zum sich in den A-beißen!“

G25

About ... :-)

H3

Thinkerick

There once was a thinker named Hil,

Whose great puns could the cosmos distill –

Every rhyme was a stark

linguistic remark,

Even planets revolve at his will.

Thalia Stacy

About ... :-)

H4

Jubilimerick

Now a crazy old boy, I agree,

He wrote limericks freely, with glee –

   Long ago in his life,

   He said: "Wow, twenty-five!"

Fifty more now: a new jubilee ...*

Liquorish Alarm**

About ... :-)

H5

Schlimmerick

Es gab einen Mann aus Lucban...

der erzählte nur Limericks dann –

      Wenn die Nachbarn schon gucke:

      "Ist der Mann denn meschugge??"

Seine Frau sprach ihn gar nicht mehr an!

Anonymer Limerickoliker

About ... :-)

H6

Sources:

Photos and graphics © Hilmar Alquiros, Philippines:

 a) Old collection: Lime Ricks + Rhyme Licks, 2008–2025

 b) New collection: hilmar-alquiros.de/LIMERICKS.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

www.sprachwitz.de/schuettellimericks.html (!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick

https://web.archive.org/web/20110214194935/http:/www.globalconscious.com